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Sam:Salami chuck frankfurter fatback,jerky venison ham filet mignon pork chop beef.

George:Tenderloin pork belly short ribs burgdoggen strip steak,prosciutto brisket.

Sam:Jerky burgdoggen pastrami short loin doner meatloaf shank beef ribs flank kevin.

George:Short ribs kielbasa ball tip chuck bacon meatball meatloaf cow biltong pastrami filet mignon fatback.

Abbott:I’m telling you. Who’s on first,What’s on second,I Don’t Know is on third–

Costello:You know the fellows’ names?

Abbott:Yes.

Costello:Well,then who’s playing first?

Abbott:Yes.

Costello:I mean the fellow’s name on first base.

Abbott:Who.

Costello:The fellow playin’ first base.

Abbott:Who.

Costello:The guy on first base.

Abbott:Who is on first.

Costello:Well,what are you askin’ me for?

Abbott:I’m not asking you–I’m telling you. Who is on first.

Costello:I’m asking you–who’s on first?

Abbott:That’s the man’s name.

Costello:That’s who’s name?

Abbott:Yes.

Costello:When you pay off the first baseman every month,who gets the money?

Abbott:Every dollar of it. And why not,the man’s entitled to it.

Costello:Who is?

Abbott:Yes.

Costello:So who gets it?

Abbott:Why shouldn’t he? Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.

Costello:Who’s wife?

Abbott:Yes. After all,the man earns it.

Costello:Who does?

Abbott:Absolutely.

Costello:Well,all I’m trying to find out is what’s the guy’s name on first base?

Abbott:Oh,no,no. What is on second base.

Costello:I’m not asking you who’s on second.

Abbott:Who’s on first!

Costello:St. Louis has a good outfield?

Abbott:Oh,absolutely.

Costello:The left fielder’s name?

Abbott:Why.

Costello:I don’t know,I just thought I’d ask.

Abbott:Well,I just thought I’d tell you.

Costello:Then tell me who’s playing left field?

Abbott:Who’s playing first.

Costello:Stay out of the infield!The left fielder’s name?

Abbott:Why.

Costello:Because.

Abbott:Oh,he’s center field.

Costello:Wait a minute. You got a pitcher on this team?

Abbott:Wouldn’t this be a fine team without a pitcher?

Costello:Tell me the pitcher’s name.

Abbott:Tomorrow.

Costello:Now,when the guy at bat bunts the ball–me being a good catcher–I want to throw the guy out at first base,so I pick up the ball and throw it to who?

Abbott:Now,that’s he first thing you’ve said right.

Costello:I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!

Abbott:Don’t get excited. Take it easy.

Costello:I throw the ball to first base,whoever it is grabs the ball,so the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to what. What throws it to I don’t know. I don’t know throws it back to tomorrow–a triple play.

Abbott:Yeah,it could be.

Costello:Another guy gets up and it’s a long ball to center.

Abbott:Because.

Costello:Why? I don’t know. And I don’t care.

Abbott:What was that?

Costello:I said,I DON’T CARE!

Abbott:Oh,that’s our shortstop!